f*ck it, I'm thank full

Ate like a queen although I am broke, drank away my worries in the company of friends and loved ones. I am happy. I am full. I am satisfied.

IT DIDN'T TOTALLY SUCK

IT DIDN'T TOTALLY SUCK is how this comment card from a recent focus group screening begins...



It ends with ... YOU SUCK, EAT A BAG OF SHIT! - We may end up using some of these gems for our marketing materials...

Otis N' Dwayne love it or leave it!

The film that wouldn't die

Otis N' Dwayne is a feature film twelve years in the making I pretty much gave up on finishing it a couple years ago. It was languishing on the bottom of the ocean and haunting me in the back of my mind.

Most of the filming was done and I couldn't make sense of the edit. Ironic since I edit film for a living. As a last ditch effort I put a listing on craigslist offering a $1000 to help me finish the edit.

I got a ton of responses mostly from totally unqualified individuals and then this one....

Hey there,

My name is Kelsey Hoover. I'm a working editor, or editress, as I prefer to be called... I watched your trailer and think you are a madman, and possibly a genius. I'd love to work on the film.

I have my own Final Cut at home, which suits me because I always work naked. I hope that's okay with you, and that you're comfortable with working around a nude editress. Can't say how long I've been a nuditress, really, just that ever since I quit working at Trailer Park and got my own setup at home, I haven't been able to bring myself to put on any clothes. I mean, why bother if it's hot, and you're working alone at home, right? Now I'm at the point where I only work with directors and clients who are comfortable with coming to my house and having me be nude while I work.

You strike me as someone who'd understand. So you should give me a call. 310-592-26xx. If my assistant Ben answers, just tell him who you are and leave a message. And be sure to tell him whether or not you'd be comfortable with nudity. That will determine whether or not I return your call. Sorry, but we do get a few pervs.

I can't wait to hear from you! How exciting!

Kelsey

... Sent by my co-worker Danny as a practical joke.

June 2008 I'm in New York celebrating my birthday with my wife when Curtis (my BFF and screenwriter of Otis N' Dwayne) takes me to a BBQ at his musician friends Anne and Tosso's where we drink beer and they introduce me to something called the "Volcano" - Tosso and I get to talking and turns out he's seen a rough cut of the movie and liked what he saw. I said...

"Hey why don't you do the soundtrack blah blah blah..."

And the rain was pouring down in buckets - it was my first time in Brooklyn, Anne and Tosso have a lovely garden and make a nice BBQ. Part of the building was beginning to flood. I hitched a ride back to the city with two guys named Brad and that was that...

Four months later and I'm back in LA actually found someone on craigslist to help me edit the film. Jose Manuel Jimenez from Madrid, a Spanish feature editor (here's his IMDB page), who truly responded to the trailer, the screenplay and the rough cut and offered to do it for free! What the hell, why not?

My cell rings and it's Anne and Tosso they have some songs for the film. Amazing. The songs are great. I can't believe it - I'd totally forgotten about our conversation that rainy day in June.

Jose's cut is great. He trimmed twenty to thirty minutes of fat from the film, restructured some scenes and broke it up into chapters. Suddenly it's playing and flowing with an energy and coherence that it never had before and WE HAVE ORIGINAL MUSIC.

I can't believe it. We finished the movie. Have screened it to private audiences on the big screen twice now and began applying to film festivals.

Otis N' Dwayne will not die.

I thank my lucky stars for Anne, Tosso, Jose and Curtis. From Brooklyn, to Madrid, to LA we made it happen with email, external hard drives, and file sharing on the internet. I don't even think there was the internet when we began this project. I've never even met or spoken to Jose in person. The miracle of modern technology. The miracle of Otis N' Dwayne...

Sincerely,

Haunted No More

collaboration = antidote

As another birthday approaches, and the weather turns cold, I find myself sitting in a puddle of reflection - what a year this has been. I have had countless failures and limited success. I have had some highs, but mostly found myself scraping the rocky bottom. This year of crap has left this self-loathing Jew with no shortage of material for my conversations in my head that beginning every night when I go to bed and continue from when I get up in the morning. And to top it off, I am actually still quite lucky - I am not lonely, I am in good health and however unfortunate I may feel, I am actually quite fortunate as I do not know true poverty - so you see, I can't even feel sorry for myself; I can only feel like I am a piece of shit.
Pulling myself out of this vortex every day is no small task. Thank god for coffee. Just the first cup, so good, starts me on my way. Time spent in the garden... That is always amazing. Especially when I am planting things or harvesting crops. Now there is a task that I can set out to complete and actually finish. I can stand back and reflect on my work, I can watch it grow, tend to it, and see the fruits of my labor. So many things in life leave me with the difficult task of determining if I actually accomplished what I set out to do and wondering did I do the best possible job I could do. Naturally, I take great pleasure in shredding myself to bits. Don't get me wrong, I am able to give myself credit for my accomplishments and I often brag about being always right to my husband (which he loves) but I still manage to find the poop in the panties when I lie in bed at night and reflect.
Working on Otis N' Dwayne has been an amazing departure from my usual masturbatory lifestyle. This is the first real collaboration I have worked on. What a treat it has been. How nice to work on something that is not all mine. I guess I am sort of a control freak, but that can't really be true when I take so much pleasure from working with other people, getting and giving input, watching something evolve from the inside and from an outside perspective as well.
I have screened the movie for small groups over the last few months. Some people really loved ON'D and others were baffled, some laughed out loud the whole time while others sat confused and distraught. But at the end of the day - here is the amazing part - I saw the glass as half full. I focus on the positive. After all, no one set out to make a movie that everyone will love. Otis N' Dwayne is meant for a certain someone who thinks it's the motherfucking shit, just like I did the first time I saw it and still do after watching it at least thirty times. ON'D is all-or-nothing take-it-or-leave-it. And I am drinking the Kool Aid.
So now, after I finish my long list of stupid fucking fuck-ups and tasks left unfinished and things I could have done better, I hum myself to sleep with the soundtrack of my perverted little movie that I love so much and I so grateful to be a part of.
Signing off, worrying that this is stupid and sappy and wondering if I should publish it at all...

blessed unrest

"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable it is nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others." - Martha Graham

Burkeman approves...

I recently posted photos on Facebook from Sunday's screening of Otis N' Dwayne. One of my favorites is of my friend Oliver. He looks skeptical. Under the picture, I wrote "Obviously Mr. Burkeman does not approve of something..." And this, my friends, is his reply... "I have no memory of what it can have been that I disapproved of... The beer was good, the company was excellent, and the movie, in its own deeply horrifying and brain-melting way, was wonderful." All this from a Brit. Cheers to Otis N' Dwayne. Cheers Oli!

private screening at the Parkside Lounge, NYC

It was a great night that ended out of focus but people clearly had a lot of fun... or at least some of them did. Otis N' Dwayne is not for everyone. Otis N' Dwayne, love it or leave it.

It was a cold, gray, rainy night in NYC. We met on the Lower East Side at the Parkside Lounge. This place was perfect for ON'D madness. The bar is a no mess, neighborhood spot that hosts really great music shows and the occasional movie screening. They mixed up special cocktails just for ON'D - the Big Blast, the Otis N' Dwayne and a generously sized Singapore Sling. Plus, we were handing out free Ho Hos, so you know the guests were happy.


The screening went really well. The sound mix was great, the editing was tight - it was the best I have seen it. I am really proud to have been a part of it. We got a ton of positive feedback. After the screening, a bunch of hard core fans hung out and together we hashed out a plan for guaranteed success. Now, as I said before, the night ended in a blur so I can't quite remember the whole strategy that we mapped out, but I am sure that there is something to that feeling we had, the feeling that it is crystal clear that Otis N' Dwayne is on the path to greatness. I hope it takes me along for the ride. I am having so much fun.

free chocolate love

What is it about the ho ho that is so so tempting? Is it the chocolate shell that inevitably flakes off, falls into your lap and onto your shirt leaving a chocolate stain? Is it the super sweet and mysterious cream filling? Who knows what the secret is to what goes into making these tempting treats, but what I do know is that on Sunday, October 18th at 8pm we will be screening Otis N' Dwayne for friends and family AND we will have ho hos a plenty on hand for our lucky guests. Did you just do a double take? What's that? FREE ho hos? So friends, if you have been on the fence about whether or not to crawl out of your cave on Sunday night, surely I have just convinced you that it will be worth it. Here are the details:
Sunday, October 18th
Parkside Lounge - 317 E. Houston Street btw B&C
8pm - Drinks and pre party
9pm sharp - Screening of Otis N' Dwayne
More drinks during and after screening.
Free HO Hos and salty snacks.

fukuda factor part II

Episode VII: Trip to the Darkside
Here is a short by director Dylan O'Neil featuring none other than Mr. Fukuda. In short: HOT CHICKS! BLOOD! GORE! BOOZE! STORMTROOPERS! THE EPISODE LUCAS DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE!
Check it out, yo!

I Get High

I went to the High Line yesterday on the most perfect Autumn in New York day. I am not going to wax poetic about it. It is perfect. Could not have been done better.